THE DRIVE...

For all those who don't know me, here is a story. And for those who know me and don’t know about this, well, here is an incident from my life that was just too hard to share in person. So, read on...

It all started with another road trip…

All happy and gay, laughing and partying. We partied too hard some might say. But it was normal. The happiness was normal. The usual feeling of joy after hanging out with friends, partying with them, and having a sense of freedom consumed us.

Celebrating a surprise birthday party for two of our closest friends on January 18, 2013 was as exciting as anything. Some of us felt that 2013 started on a bad note. I myself felt that the year was ruined because of that one night.

It was the usual hullaballoo that day. A road trip, dancing, eating, singing, laughing and having fun conclusive with a long drive in the shadows of the night that hung over all of us. That night was the biggest mistake the seven of us made.

Drifting with the flow, we zoomed our way to ecstasy. What was to follow, we had never even imagined in our wildest dreams. Or maybe we did. Maybe we saw the signs and ignored. We all had a sixth sense, an intuition. We took no notice of it because we wanted to have fun no matter what.

Turning our backs to hints, which will seem petty now, - from playing a car crash game with toy cars to making more than 10 U turns that night, besides the powerful instincts we all had - we sped the car into the foreboding night.

It was around 12:50 am that it happened. The memory doesn’t seem to go away. It haunts me every single time I am on the road.

The worst part is that I can’t discuss it with anyone. It is between the seven of us. We don’t want anyone to carry our burden. Or perhaps we are scared that nobody will understand. Worst of all, nobody will trust us ever again.

It had been some time that we were driving and listening to loud music and joking around. Some of us were starting to feel sleepy and wanted to return. But some part of us wanted to go on. The other part shouted at us, wanting us to head home. But we snubbed that other part which wanted to save us. There was a feeling of such malevolence that I feared for our lives.

It was a place unknown to most of us. The roads and routes were new. Yet we sped the car, blasted the music at full volume and suddenly darkness silhouetted in front of us. All I remember is that one moment we were singing a Bollywood song ‘tu mera hero’ on top of our voices and the other moment I could hear shrieks so painful, so frightening that whenever I think of them, it sends a chill down my spine.

A blind turn and a divider, around 2 ft high, suddenly appeared, and it brought an end to the fun. The speed of the car didn’t let it stop at the divider; it made the car fly and land with force. A lamppost, the best thing that happened to us that night, managed to halt the car. The car had crashed into the lamppost not headfirst but sideways. It was a miracle.

As soon as I realised I was alive, I was certain that one of us must not be. But blessed as we were, every one of us was breathing.

The screaming turned into one of us commanding everyone to get out of the car. The car hissed as smoke came out its front. The noise of leaking petrol could be heard. One by one we all capered out of the car.

We then checked each other and saw that one of our friends was bleeding profusely. There was blood all over her face. It scared the hell out of us. Another one was holding her leg and lying on the road. I was holding my hurt hand and running to others to check them. Miraculously everyone was alive and all our body parts were intact.

There were minor injuries physically. Mentally, we were and still are shaken.

Jivan Jyoti, an ashram we had crashed in front of, was a saviour for our poor souls. They took us in, medicated us and gave us all the help we needed. Looking at the car’s condition, we were all thinking how on earth we were still alive and not lying in the hospital.

There was some power that day that saved us. There was someone who wanted to save us from the start but we ignored it, but it saved us anyway.

A marvel or just in the mind’s eye, it was an experience that will be etched in our minds forever.

It changed me, it has scared me, and it has startled me. I cannot share it with anyone without breaking down. I jumped at every noise I heard initially. I fear darkness even more now. And it will be a long time before I can go for road trips and long drives again.

We know that a miracle saved us, even the one driving thinks so. He saved our lives but he will be forever guilty like each one of us. One mistake and I shiver to think what could have happened.

Trembling from head to toe, hugging each other and crying our eyes out, I am terrorised at recalling all of it.

Everything feels emotional and I feel raw and exposed. Anything can happen to anyone of us at any moment. What is the point in doing all the things we do? I have been given a second life but for what, to do what, I have no idea. Because I fear that this second chance will be taken away from me any moment.

An Ode..!

Childish deeds

Laughing carelessly

Unaffected by miseries, 
Happy times

You were beside me through it all

Being naïve, enjoying the youth

You helped me imagine perfection

A key to my freedom

Holding my hand

Nudging me to taste success

Giving me the confidence 
Letting me know that my dreams are not fantasies

That there was a world beyond this

Believing in purity

And friendship

You led me to the reality

Only to open my eyes

Your strictness couldn't dishearten me

As long as you were genuine

Dependable on you

Always as a friend

All along never realizing that there was more

You expressed your feelings like a song

But I just enjoyed the music, ignoring the lyrics

Gullible, innocent or maybe just trusting

Finally getting hit by another reality

Falling for the real thing

Turning to you to share the joy

Only to realise that you no longer held my hand

as it was the lyrics of some other song that I heard,

You left me to face it all alone

For the better or for worse I didn't know.

An ode to you now,

For letting me see the truth

And not the idealism

Disappearing, perhaps, for my own good.

Quoting myself... :)

You always expressed your feelings like a song....
I always enjoyed the music...
and kept ignoring the lyrics...!

Delving into Kolkata!

What I thought I would find was a black and white city, with slum dwellings here and there and hand pulled rickshaws, an image I had of Kolkata from the 70s movies.

On my trip I witnessed the unexpected and well unfortunately it wasn’t one of my best trips. Even though, Kolkata is a city everyone needs to explore. And by explore I mean see the sights not the metropolis arcades.

It all started when my friends and I at IIMC packed our bags and took a bus from Cuttack to Kolkata for a 3 day trip.

The bus halted at Babu Ghat bus terminus near Eden Gardens and the view was not at all black and white. It was 5 in the morning and I was wide awake taking in the beautiful vista. From there it was dumping our bags at our abodes and exploring the bustling streets of New Market and Park Street.

Day 1, we couldn’t explore too much and that dampened our spirits and we all became grumpy and cranky because of our unplanned spree. But the day had not ended and we feasted our eyes at the photogenic yet distinctly seedy vantage point, the Princep Ghat. The Hooghly River, a distributary of the Ganges, below the impressive elegant Vidyasagar Setu suspension bridge was a spectacle in the evening. We were lucky enough to witness the day of kali Visarjan where devotees plunged the divine puja images into Hooghly waters. From there it was an evening well spent with a boat ride down the river, which washed away all the tautness we had from earlier.

Vidyasagar Setu, also known as the Second Hooghly Bridge.

Dinner at KFC was longed-for as we are the famished souls from Dhenkanal, who crave for fast food day after day.

So, you see, it was something of a relief for me to be delivered from the clutter, filth, and dilapidation to the relative urbanity of Calcutta. As my trip was urban focused I missed out on the exploring part, which by the way no passionate traveller should do.

The second day started on a good note, with Science City on the agenda. We boarded a traditional tram from Park Street to Park Circus to get the feel of the heritage rich city and then took a cab to reach Science City which is at the crossing of Eastern Metropolitan Bypass and J B S Haldane avenue. It indeed was a city in itself. We took the ropeway to go inside which was an exhilarating experience. The earth exploration hall and the evolution park were a feast to the eyes and food for the brain. The artificial dinosaurs and the evolution of humans were worth admiring. In the science park we played and had fun like a bunch of kids enjoying each minute in Kolkata, the City of Joy.

Science City, Kolkata-the largest science centre in the Indian subcontinent

One of the main hurdles in Kolkata was lack of transportation. We had a hard time commuting and since we were on a tight budget we couldn’t book a cab for the whole day. This meant that we couldn’t explore the whole city which extends from North to south Kolkata in such a short time.

Day 3 came and we marched our way to the famous and beautiful Victoria Memorial Hall, a memorial building dedicated to Victoria, Queen of the UK. Oh yes, a tourist attraction it was. With extravagant gardens spread around the vicinity and a museum containing a large collection of memorabilia relating to Queen Victoria and the British presence in India and other work of arts, The Victoria Memorial with its royal gallery was a sight to behold.

The magnificent gardens that surround the Memorial Hall

The façade standing tall containing major collection of paintings, sculptures and manuscripts from the British period and made with White Makrana marbles was inaugurated in the year 1921 and certain additions were made in the later years.

Mesmerizing Beauty Of Victoria Memorial 

Exhausted from roaming the great halls inside, we looked forward to the tanga ride (horse cart ride) on the busy roads near Victoria memorial which was a royal feeling in itself. Enjoying the refreshing breeze in our faces and drinking the lemonade, we had a priceless time and some of us wanted another go on the tanga.

Riding on traditional Tanga (Horse cart)

But our hungry stomachs goaded us towards a food joint, Arsalan, on Park Street which is famous for its Calcutta Biryani.  It was the first time I tasted this kind of Biryani, which uses Potato along with meat and is much lighter on spices than compared to other Biryani's.  I was not disappointed as everything we ordered, including kebabs and chicken, was delicious. The restaurant was moderately priced and is the perfect place to savour one of the best biryanis in the city, according to my Bong friends.

After wandering around the city more, we went to the Xavier’s college which had a great infrastructure and since one of my friends completed her graduation from here, it was imperative that we went there and honestly we didn’t regret visiting the place as it was one of the most beautiful colleges I have ever seen.

Dropping in at a café to please our urban needs we chit chatted and relaxed a bit.

After that it was time to say goodbye to the culturally rich city and so we boarded a bus from Babu Ghat bus terminus and slept our way to Cuttack.

It was an enjoyable experience what with the company of friends and the travelling binge but honestly we needed to delve into the city a bit more. 

Actually, a lot more. 

With you

I don’t want to be in love

But in love with you

Braving the odds

Defying the snags

Only with you

I don’t want to be in a bond

But a bond with you

Joy in happiness

Acceptance in gloom

Only with you

I don’t want to be adored

But adored by you

Affection and passion

Feeling of fondness

Only with you

I don’t want to tussle

But tussle beside you

Brawls and fights

Struggles and challenges

To face with you

Only with you…!

Perturbed

Blissful life and Heavenly words

Universal Glee

So far Nothingness

Buried in the heart

Snubbing everything

Hankering for something

Unclear, Nebulous

Assorted feelings

Cooped up from own

An obscurity to be solved

Before time is pilfered…!

And Another Day…!

Dhauli- At Peace!

Waking up at 5 in the morning for the first time since we have come here was not an easy task for most of us but ironically everyone was eager for the same. The road trip, our destination and of course the company of friends made us all excited and raring to go on a Sunday morning.

The trip as always was fun filled what with the music blasting in the cab, the occasional stops for tea and snacks and the enchanting panorama of Odisha outside accompanied by the light breeze.

We reach our destination, Dhauli, which is located on the banks of the river Daya, 8 km south of Bhubaneshwar, and is a hill surrounded by lush green fields and some signs of human habitation. The place has a bloody history but now is one of the most peaceful and beautiful spots that one can find. History has it that the river Daya turned red with the blood of the many deceased after the infamous and the last war of King Ashoka, the Kalinga war. Dhauli is where Ashoka’s 1st separate rock edict is carved and where Ashoka surveying the bloodied fields below him, reflects on the price people have paid for his grand ambitions.

As we all reach on the top of the hill, an impressive white peace pagoda (Dhauli Shanti Stupa) stands in front of us which was built by the Japan Buddha Sangha and the Kalinga Nippon Buddha Sangha in the 1970s and from where the plush fields can be seen. The scorching heat does not diminish our enthusiasm to roam around the place, click pictures and visit the small temples behind the pagoda.

Done with the roving about, we all sit together to view the surroundings in peace and admire the beauty of the place. I try hard to imagine the epiphany of the Kalinga war looking down at the winding river, but all that comes to my mind is what splendour and serenity the site is endowed with.

Along with the Ashokan Edicts, the peace pagoda and modern Buddhist monastery, Dhauli offers us with small rock cut caves, Hindu temples of early medieval period and a renovated Shiva temple dedicated to Lord 'Dhavalesvara' on top of the hill as added attractions. 

After many hours we leave the place filled with tranquillity and joy and much to my displeasure the heat finally takes its toll on me making me ill. Endowed with great friends, I am taken care of immediately and I feel better after a few medicines and food.

Even though we are tired and repent our return to the hostel, we enjoy as much as we can the last few hours by singing and having fun on our ride back.

Dhauligiri surely meets with the sightseeing agenda as well as the equanimity that one needs in today’s bustle.

So it was now a matter of awaiting our next trip…